A Positive Parent is platform used to empower parents who want to help their children grow! Here I share tips, advice, help and great ideas all backed by scientific research. This ideas are drawn from Positive Parenting and Positive Psychology but with a firm belief that Challenge + Support = Growth. Thus understanding that even negative experiences and encounters have their benefits to aid long term future growth.
Growth Parenting and Becoming a Positive Parent
My name is Jade Gandey and Since becoming a parent I’ve found myself trawling the Internet and reading books looking for Scientific Research that supports my parenting style. I don’t think there is an umbrella term for it. It’s not just ‘Positive Parenting” it is more, it also combines parenting using Positive Psychology techniques and at the same times relies on the understanding that Challenge + Support = Growth. All if these elements combined lead for a more balanced home life. I call it ‘Growth Parenting’.
Raised by hippies I’ve had quite an alternative upbringing myself but in typical rebellion, from such free spirited parenting, I can’t just trust my heart alone when using these methods.
When raising children we as parents want to see scientific research and results the support that being ‘a positive parent’ will help our child grow and flourish. I am inspired by positive psychology and I am excited that I can continue to explore these techniques on myself and my family.
I spend hours reading research that relates to children and families. I attend courses on Human Behaviour, Positive Psychology and Health & Wellness. Always leaning what is new and how it can build into my ‘Growth Parenting’ style, then I share the best bits in easy to understand language that helps you learn be stronger parents.
I am not the expert, I love researching, not only does it inspires and excite me but it empowers me to feel confident in my choices. I hope that by sharing these findings I can in turn inspire and empower parents to help themselves and their children grow.
It is not all roses
It is important to start by saying a few things about the word POSITIVE. Being a positive parent does not mean you can’t get frustrated, cry, shout or be mad. It just means that where possible you will try and use positive techniques to support your child to grow. Recognising that all emotions and experiences (including the negative ones) have value and can be learnt from. If we can learn to name these emotions and experience them for what they are, without hanging on to them for long periods of time, then they will serve us well.
We live in a happiness obsessed society where we may have forgotten that it’s Ok to be sad, angry or miserable sometimes. These perceived negative experiences have both benefits and drawbacks and eventually lead to our growth even if sometimes painful so our less mature parenting moments should not drag us down.
Being ‘a positive parent’ is hard, there are times I get frustrated and behave not like ‘A Positive Parent’ but I know not to beat myself up, I recognize these are the challenges of parenting and appreciate that combining these various Growth Parenting techniques will support our family in the long run.
I have learnt that Challenge + Support = Growth. Summed up perfectly by Wildredom “Life and even non-life forms demonstrate remarkably simple principles Challenge + Support = Growth. Challenge sets a process in motion – it provides the motivation or energy for a response. Support helps to ensure successful adaptation.
The challenge for a newly sprouted seed it to survive and thrive until its produced seed. It needs support in the form of light and nutrients. The challenge and the support allow it to succeed. Without the challenge (the motivation) or support (the help), the plant would wither.
In humans, support alone creates laziness. Challenge alone can be harmful. Together, challenge and support can create a myriad of adventurous growth experiences.”
So taking this principle they are two other key foundations that I have included to form Growth Parenting these are Positive Parenting and Positive Psychology.
Netmums hits the nail on the head describing Positive Parenting perfectly ” There isn’t a set of rules for positive parenting. Instead it’s a way of parenting that looks for solutions to your child’s misbehaviour rather than focusing on punishing her for being naughty. It’s not a new way of raising kids. The roots of positive parenting – sometimes called positive discipline – go back to the early 1900s. Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler believed that when kids feel connected to others, they are less likely to misbehave. Which is why – along with teaching your child rules and boundaries – a key element to positive parenting is having respect for your kids …. and teaching her to respect others.”
But for me this technique is not the be all and end all. I think Positive Parenting has been incredible to end the antiquated disciplinarian technique that the older generations had with their children, but I do not think that Positive Parenting accepts enough that the challenges parents give children can have as as many benefits as drawbacks.
In Growth Parenting I like to lean on using Positive Psychology Techniques to support parents in their family life. The foundation of Positive Psychology is PERMA (positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement) and building these into both our own and our children’s lives is critical for a more balanced home life.
“Positive emotions are good for children because they stretch the imagination. When children do something they enjoy or find interesting, they are more likely to persevere in the face of challenges, and spontaneously search for more creative solutions and opportunities. Positive emotions can also help undo negative ones; reminding Laura about the wonderful time she had at the beach yesterday is likely to offset her stress from a challenging day at school, for example. Generally, children are likely to do more of the activities they find stimulating and that bring enjoyment, and the effects last longer than those that generate short-lived pleasure.” – Go Strengths
Combing these with three elements I hope to support parents to use gentler parenting techniques, strong positive exercises that bring more fulfillment to their and their children’s lives but importantly recognising that alongside this powerful support we give our children it is OK to challenge them to help them grow.
The icing on the cake? Our own personal development by learning all these incredible techniques we too can grow. Being a parent may well be the ultimate opportunity for personal development and personal growth.
Please take a look at the A Positive Parent blog HERE You will also find positive gift and toy suggestions, inspirational affirmations and quotes, book reviews and more using the tabs along the top! Read a small section of this weeks book review below: “The story is simple and accessible to children, we all carry around invisible buckets with us “Your bucket has one purpose only. Its purpose is to hold your good thoughts and feelings about yourself.” If my daughter is rude to me than I can simply say ” you just emptied my bucket” she instantly knows what this means and she also understands that it empties her bucket too.” Read the full review here • All product links go to Amazon and I earn a very small commission direct from Amazon on any sales. This money is used to raise my daughter.